Demystifying the Dildo
While some more unique sex toys, like the Sona or Fin, require a bit of explanation, it’s actually the simplest toys of all that we get the most questions about. Dildos.
People either love them or have no idea why they would want one of what they would even do with it. This most likely stems from the fact that many clit owners require direct stimulation in order to orgasm and so the idea of a penetrative toy with no bells and whistles leaves some people feeling a little ‘meh!’ about the whole idea. But rest assured, a lil’ dil (or a big one) can be a beautiful thing!
Sweet Sweet Fantasy Baby
If penetrative sex is part of your self-pleasure fantasies, a dildo can help tap into those sensations that you’re imagining. Think of using a dildo similarly to having penetrative sex with a partner, chances are your body need a minute (or 15) to warm up. So let your mind —and hands—wander and tap into your imagination, turn on your favorite porn or read your favorite erotica, whatever gets you warmed up. If watching porn is your thing, and there is penetration involved, try timing your thrusts with the action for a totally immersive experience.
The Wetter The Better
A super common dildo misstep is to forgo lube. Repeat after us “Lube is my friend!”. Just make sure you’ve got the right formula for your toy, water-based for silicone toys and silicone (or water) for pretty much everything else. Some people don’t think to use lube for masturbation when they predominantly use external vibes (though, give it a shot, it can add a ton of sensitivity) but when it comes to dildos, the wetter the better.
Don’t Forget The Clit
If you have a clit and are someone who needs (or likes) it stimulated to reach orgasm, be sure to bring it into the mix. If you’re coordinated, try thrusting with one hand and rubbing your clit with the other, or try riding a suction dildo like the Summer Fling. If that’s simply too much work, grab a handy clit vibe like Mini or the powerful sonic waves of a Sona and experience the best of both worlds. When we have sex with a partner we tend to be laying down for the most part but try sitting up to bring your hands closer to the action. Or, if that’s not comfortable for you, check out our other recommended solo sex positions.
X Marks the G-Spot
One of the most popular reasons that people pick up a dildo is to hit their g-spot. If you’ve tried finding your g-spot manually or with a partner without luck, sometimes a toy made just for the job is what you’re looking for. Something hard and curved is ideal for being able to apply pressure the area on your front interior wall. And while many people enjoy massaging the area with something simple like an Icicle 31, others really enjoy applying deep rumbly sensations internally with a toy like the Uma. Read up on how to find your g-spot and pick the toy that’s right for you.
Hold On Partner
If neither you nor your partner has a penis and you enjoy the sensation of penetrative sex, a dildo can be a bit simpler to bring into the mix. Either worn with a harness, like the Summer Fling or simply used manually. However if one of you has a penis, using a dildo together might seem redundant. But just wait, cause it can be amazing!
While incorporating an external vibe might be easy for your partner to get onboard with, the go-to emotion when suggesting a dildo might be one of inferiority, so depending on your partner, the conversation needs to be broached with a little sensitivity (read more here). If you’ve ever been in a threesome or fantasized about it, this is a pretty close way to replicate some of those sensations. If you think it’s something you would enjoy, try letting a partner know that you’d love to experience oral and penetration at the same time. This is something that, unless they’re a contortionist, is simply not possible without a handy dil. Chances are they’ll love the view and seeing the amount of enjoyment they can offer you in this way. If you or your partner is interested exploring anal with the dildo (more on that here and here) make sure you’re using something that can’t easily slip inside, with either an exaggerated curve, like the Icicle 31 or a flared base like the Summer Fling. It’s not about replacing anything, it’s about adding more and more fun options!
Cleanliness is Key
Which brings us to hygiene. While the dildo is one of the most versatile toys, it’s absolutely integral that you not switch between anal and vaginal penetration without cleaning the toy first. Another option is to simply grab a couple of condoms and to switch them up as you change body parts (this way you don’t even need to get out of bed!). Make sure that you know how to clean and care for your toys by reading our simple guide.
So remember, when you choose a dildo you get to pick exactly the shape, form and size that you like, whether that's a more phallic toy or one of our many favorites that don't even try to replicate the human form. Sometimes the draw is how much it’s not a penis, either with a completely different feeling material like a gorgeous glass toy or an abstract shape. So tap into what turns you on and find a dildo that suits those needs :)
