For some, finding and stimulating the g-spot is a piece of cake. For others, it’s a frustrating or elusive mystery they’ve never quite been able to figure out.
The most recent studies of the area (and there have been many!) suggest that what we call the g-spot is actually an extension of the internal portion of your clitoris, which is simply more sensitive in certain people. This helps to explain the mixed opinions on the subject. If you’re open to experimenting you’ll end up with a better understanding of your own idea of pleasure, whether it includes the elusive g-spot or not.
Slow and Steady
If you’ve ever flipped through a Cosmo magazine, you know how to start. Insert two fingers, palm side up, 2 to 3 inches inside yourself, and to push on the front vaginal wall until you find a spot that feels a little rough or bumpy. Make a “come hither” motion with your fingers and then...voila!. But what if there’s no voila?
It's Not For Everyone
Simply finding the spot is not going to send you spiralling into erotic bliss (unless it does, in which case, congrats!). There is no map to your g-spot, no one size fits all approach, and no guarantee that if you do hit the spot that you’ll even love how it feels. While many people report feeling intense “full body” orgasms from stimulating their g-spot and clitoris simultaneously, others don’t feel much at all, or just feel like they kind of have to pee. For some people, g-spot stimulation can lead to squirting, but again, everyone's different!
You've Gotta Relax
It’s best not to treat this like a hunting expedition or a trip to the gyno—more like a leisurely exploration. Like the rest of your clitoris, the g-spot expands when you’re aroused, which can make it much easier to locate and feel more sensitive if you do. So slow down, take a bath, watch some porn, whatever works for you. Now that you’re in the mood, it's time to grab some lube and get in touch with yourself.
Listen to your body
You’re going to want to feel around the frontal vaginal wall until you hit an area that has a spongy, bumpy or rough texture. It can help to have one hand resting on the outside, pushing gently down and the fingers on the inside press up. Don’t be afraid to be a bit firm as you press. Listen to your body. It’s a g-spot, not a g-area, so it’s gonna take time to find what you’re looking for. Many people find that theirs is actually located higher than they expected, or is awkward to reach. Enter the g-spot vibe.
Grab a Toy
The benefits to a toy are that they’re curved to hit all the right spots—no more cramped ‘come hither’ motions!—and it’s more firm and substantial than your digits. Toys can also vibrate, and no one, no matter how skilled, can move their fingers quite that fast.
There are endless g-spot toys on the market, from the Rabbit made famous by Sex and the City to non-vibrating stainless steel toys. We're obsessed with The Pillow Talk Sassy, The Pure Wand and the Icicle No. 31. Sleek, beautiful toys that do their job and do it well 😍 . Check out what's out there and see what looks good to you, just make sure you’re buying a body-safe toy from a reputable retailer.
Regardless of the brand, the toy will most likely have a curve to it. You want to insert the toy so the curve is facing the front of your body, hitting the vaginal wall you were just exploring. Some people enjoy firm pressure and vibration, while others prefer to have the sensation of something rubbing up against the spot, in which case you’ll want to move the toy in and out, while still having it angled forwards. The goal doesn’t have to be an orgasm, but instead exploration and pleasure. You may find that it feels so great that you want to add some clitoral stimulation with a toy like the Nova 2, or if you're using a non-vibrating wand, like the Pure Wand or the Crystal Wand, that you may want to add a small toy like the Yumi or Mini. Unless you’re part of the 6% who can achieve orgasm without any clitoral stimulation, this is beyond normal and nothing to feel bad about!
Get Into Position
Once you’ve got the lay of the land, you could also try to target your g-spot during partnered sex. Whether it’s penetrative sex with a penis or strap-on, or manual stimulation from a partner, you’ll have a better idea of how to position yourself, and give your partner direction to help them find your g-spot. In general, positions that apply pressure to external wall will have your partner entering from behind or will have you on top, either leaning back or riding backwards. Like when you were alone, incorporating a small clitoral vibrator, held by you or your partner, has the potential be a super pleasurable combo.
Do What Feels Amazing
Don’t get wrapped up in what anyone else is saying or feeling—you’re the best judge of your own pleasure! If this is a new super erogenous zone for you, amazing. If you try it and it’s not for you, now you know, and you can focus your attention on all the sensations you do love.
Your sexuality is about you. What works and what doesn’t is an entirely personal experience. Happy exploring!