An intro for the newly uninhibited (or curious).
Bums. Everyone’s got one. Some people get squeamish when it comes to anal sex and play. But pleasuring the bum is nothing to be embarrassed about—they're cute, kinda funny, sexy, and if worked properly, can be a mega-pleasure zone.
Getting started, whether with a partner or by yourself, should be all about comfort. Start small! A gentle rub, a lick - work with the pleasure and stop if it gets painful. Most of the area’s nerve endings are actually at the entrance, so you can totally stop there if that's what works for you.
Keep in mind: it’s a muscle and you can’t go from zero to one hundred without exercising it a little.
If you have a prostate, that is an entirely extra pleasure point you can target either manually, with fingers, a toy or a penis. The small gland, which contributes to semen production, is found near the bladder and can even produce orgasms if stimulated properly. Lucky you!
Lube, Lube, Lube
Unlike a vagina, the booty does not self-lubricate. Whether you’re inserting a finger, a toy or a penis, the key to safe, pleasurable butt play is the right lubrication. We recommend starting with a silicone lube like Uberlube (so long as you aren’t inserting a silicone toy, in which case water-based or oil-based is your friend). Because let’s face it, friction in the hiney is a pretty quick turnoff. If you're unsure of which lube is right for you, educate yourself here.
The most important thing is to listen to your body—we don't recommend the use of numbing creams, because pain is your body's way of telling you to slow down or stop.
Introducing ToysRubs, tongues and fingers felt good? Got you wanting more? Awesome! If you’ve worked your way up the digit ladder and are looking for something more adventurous, we recommend using a toy made for the job. Make sure that whatever you feel comfortable with has a flared base, for your safety and comfort—this will prevent the toy from going in too far, or getting stuck.
Avoid any jelly toys or ones that don’t explicitly say they are phthalate-free. Unfortunately butt plugs are almost never regulated for safe materials (learn more). A great first plug is the teeny-tiny Candy Rimmer or Bubbles. The soft, pliable texture of these silicone toys make insertion easy and comfortable. Experiment and see what you like best.
Without beating around the bush, it goes without saying that there's some stuff in the butt that you don't necessarily want in your mouth or on your body.
Before initiating partnered sex you'll want to wash your tush with regular soap and water, and keep baby wipes on hand for a quick cleanup. Some people like to use latex or vinyl gloves, which you can change easily. Either way, don't touch the genitals with the same hand or toy you just used to touch the anus without cleaning—different ecosystems!—but you can stimulate both areas at once with two hands. Like with anything, wash up when you're done!
Keeping your toys clean, especially when using them for anal sex, is vital. Read our article Zen and the Art of Sex Toy Maintenance to become a toy cleaning wizard.