We all know that movies have an incredible capacity for making things, including sex scenes, look way easier than they are in real life. Whether it’s your favorite XConfessions pool scene, The Shape of Water (fish man sex!!) or that time you secretly watched Wild Things at a sleepover, sex in water looks great on camera. In real life...not so much (don’t even get us started on beach sex! So much sand… so many places...).
While getting down underwater can have its complications and slip ups, it doesn’t mean you have to rule it out completely. However, there are some things you should know before diving in;
Water Makes You Less Wet
Oh, the cruel irony! While water makes things (like your bathroom floor) slippery, it actually washes away the vulva’s much needed natural lubricant causing a great deal of friction and can make for very complicated (if not impossible) penetrative sex. You already know that we love lube and recommend using it 100% of the time for anything anal but you’ll definitely need a bottle of Uberlube (you need the slip of silicone to hold up to washing away) on hand if any kind of water-based penetrative sex is on your bucket list. Don’t even try without it.
Condoms + Water = Nope
If condoms are your preferred method of protection, then water-sex if going to be off the list. Condoms aren’t made for use in water and tend to slip off more easily, rip due to friction and have their spermicide or lube wash right off. If you do attempt using a condom in the shower or tub, you need to apply it on dry land, add lots of silicone lube and make sure that you aren’t using any body wash, bubbles or oils that would weaken the latex. Basically, it’s not worth the headache and we don’t recommend it.
Water Can Be Pretty Gross
Shower sex is one thing, with fresh water flowing over you, but sex in a lake, hot tub or pool can invite tons of nasty bacteria into your body. The thrusting of penetrative sex can push dirty water up inside you, potentially causing infection (no thanks!). Think about it this way; would you drink the water from a hot tub or your favorite swimming hole? Nope.
Water Doesn’t Wash Everything Away
In case you’re wondering if the shower will wash away sperm or STIs, that’s a hard ‘no!’. You can 100% get pregnant or contract an STI in water. So if condoms are your way of protecting from STIs and unwanted pregnancies then you’re going to want to stick to the other rooms of the house (kitchen counter sex! on top of the dryer sex!).
There Are Other Ways to Have Wet Fun!
Wait! Before you walk away from this piece discouraged that getting sexy in water is a total bummer, we have good news! Just because penetrative sex in water is a less than awesome idea, that doesn’t mean you can’t still have have tons of fun in the shower, tub, waterfall, swimming hole, etc. Masturbation, mutual masturbation, hand jobs, waterproof sex toys and oral can all fit very nicely into your splish splash fantasies. For penises, a soapy hand job can feel totally amazing and for clit owners there’s a reason so many vibrators are waterproof :)
Here are our favorites to bring along;
Our favorite medium intensity compact vibe. Mini is so cute and nondescript that you could leave it in your shower caddy and no one would have any idea what it was. We love getting wet with this toy because it’s non-insertable, no lube required, and is perfect for a shower quickie.
Wooohooo! This is what we call a good time. Mixing the relaxing warmth of water with the sonic pulses of the Sona clit toy, is a match made in heaven. This is an especially desirable way to use the Sona if you find it a bit intense on dry land, the waves are still incredibly powerful underwater but some people find it less overwhelming submerged.
On land or at sea, Uberlube is our absolute favorite silicone-based lubricant. Its odorless, flavourless, simple formula adds tons of slip to your slide and rarely needs to be reapplied. A little goes a long way (bonus: it’s great for fly aways, no seriously).
This cute but mighty little vibe is perfect for taking into the tub. The water won't dampen its powerful, rumbly vibration, and the shape offers both pinpointed and broad stimulation.
So, let’s keep ‘sex on the beach’ the name of a terrible cocktail and hot tub sex for the amazing fantasyland of porn. Have fun, safely, livening up a morning shower or winding down in a relaxing bath.