Sex Toys: Not Just For Vaginas
Despite coming in hundreds, if not thousands, of iterations, and being widely available for sale, sex toys are just not that commonly purchased by straight cis men. While cis women might wear their vibrators proudly on their sleeves, many men would be horrified at the thought of telling their friends that they (gasp) use a sex toy. That attitude could be changing, though—a survey by FHM found that only 22% of men polled would never consider buying a toy for solo use, so the majority, at the very least, are starting to think about it.
To that 22%, we ask...well, why the hell not? While it’s true that there are many more toys on the market designed for vaginas than for penises, it’s not all Fleshlights and blow-up dolls out there. And contrary to the widely (and falsely!) held belief that the penis is the be-all, end-all of pleasure parts, sex toys can make sex with yourself and others feel even better for all parties involved. Using and enjoying toys doesn’t mean your parts don’t work, or you’re inadequate—it just means you’re open to having better sex and orgasms. Come on, admit it—doesn’t that sound good?
Besides, not everyone who has a penis identifies as straight or as a man, or buys into the toxic-masculinity-fuelled myth that sex toys are for losers. At this point, it’s pretty backward-thinking to assume that penis = big, strong man and everything else = weak and lame. Many penis owners use toys and happily report that their sex lives are all the better for it, so you’re not exactly gaining anything by clinging to that attitude.
So with all that in mind, read on for our favorite penis-friendly picks...
How do we love the Tenga Flex? Let us count the ways! Number one, this slick, futuristic-looking masturbation sleeve is properly gender-neutral, and is not modeled after a vagina or anus—it’s totally its own thing. Number two, the unique, spiraled shape expands and contracts with the motion of your hand, making for a stroking experience like you’ve almost definitely never had. Number three, it’s easy to clean and store so you can enjoy it for years. Seriously, what’s not to like?
While anal play is not necessarily for everyone, if you were born with a penis then you also, in all likelihood, have a prostate gland. Also known as the P-spot, this is basically the male version of the G-spot—a pleasure-prone bundle of sensitive nerve endings located just inside the rectum. The prostate is located about two inches in and located near your belly, and a more elongated plug like the Icicle No. 26 is sure to hit the spot. If you don’t feel comfortable with glass, or want something smaller, or you prefer the softer sensation of silicone, the Bubbles and the Spade are both awesome choices.
Speaking of bums, you may like the feeling of hitting your p-spot without necessarily leaving something in there. That's when a curved wand like Gem can be the perfect tool. It's great for rimming and inserting and has a curve on one end and bubbles on the other, endless fun!
Like we covered in this post, cock rings—or C-rings—are stretchy or rigid rings worn around the base of the penis, and sometimes the balls, that can help you get hard, and stay hard, for a longer period of time. The Super Soft C-Ring from Tantus is a perfect beginner’s option, because it’s easy to put on, comfy to wear and a cinch—no pun intended—to remove when you’re done. And lest you think that this ring will strangle your junk, we tested it in the studio and it can be stretched comfortably around a clementine and a stovetop espresso pot. (You’re welcome.)
Last but definitely not least, we recommend the Fin from Dame Products to just about everybody. Whether you’re playing with yourself or someone else, this wearable finger vibe is a total MVP when it comes to giving and receiving pleasure. One of the best things about the Fin is that it allows partners to share intimacy, with or without penetrative sex—worn around the fingers, the Fin can be used intuitively, like an extension of your own body, and delivers medium, rumbly vibes that don’t overshadow any other contributions. If you’ve never used a vibrator on your penis, try it on the underside of the shaft, just below the head, or the perianal area—in layman’s terms, that’s the no-man’s land between your penis and your butt.