The average penis, when erect, is a little less than five and a half inches in length, and about an inch and a half wide. (A soda can, for reference, is twice as wide.) On the other hand, the vagina can increase in depth when the person is aroused, going from about three inches to four or five inches, and can expand to a range of different widths. Everyone is different, but some vagina owners love the feeling of fullness that comes with penetration, and more girth can equal more pleasure in that department.
If you've tried a few dildos before and are ready to go bigger, congratulations! In general, the longer the dildo, the greater the width, though some thicker ones are available at more accessible lengths. Remember, the vagina can accommodate a literal baby for a few minutes, so it can probably handle any dildo you want to throw at it with a little training.
Here are our step-by-step instructions on how to prepare to take larger toys...
Get to know your vagina.
While vulvas are all different, the interior of the vagina is pretty similar from person to person. Its walls are muscular and ‘pleated’ in structure, like a skirt—when a larger object, such as a dildo, passes through it, it can basically expand to accommodate it.
When you become aroused, your body releases neurotransmitters that tell your brain it’s time to let more blood flow into the area. As blood flows toward the vagina, its complex pleats and folds relax to make the vagina both longer and wider, an effect called ‘tenting’. Wow, right?
Even if you’re no novice to sex toys, it can help to lay out a range of dildos, from smaller to larger. Start with the smallest, spend at least a few minutes with each, and your vagina will have an easier time stretching to accommodate the bigger ones. A tapered dildo, like this glass wand or this silicone beauty, can let you try out different widths before ordering a new toy. When experimenting with larger sizes we usually recommend silicone, a softer and more comfortable material to play with than glass.
Use plenty of lube.
Not to be rude, but now is not the time to use spit. If you want to get a bigger toy into your vagina, you’re going to have to use the right lube for the job. Make sure you have a bottle of your favorite one handy!
If you’re using a glass toy, silicone lube like Uberlube is a great choice that feels really silky, and won’t dry out too quickly. For silicone toys, go water-based with Sliquid or oil-based like Sex Oil—you might have to reapply a few times, but it’s totally worth it.
When you feel ready, go for a toy about half an inch to an inch wider than you think you’re comfortable with. Blush is one of our favorite dildo makers, and their Bellatrix is a great place to start—it’s around the same size as the average penis, six inches in length, but curved to hit the G-spot so that you can play with a little extra sensation. From there, work your way up to the Purple Rain or Summer Fling, or even the uniquely shaped Jollet (designed after the vaginal canal rather than a phallus). A larger, dual-density dildo like the Suko or Ergo can be a gentle way to ease into a larger toy. These toys have a firm core but soft, squishy exterior and are more bendy than other silicone toys.
Take your time.
You can do it, but don’t expect to go from zero to the Pure Love Addiction XL in sixty seconds. Even half an hour might not be enough time, so make sure you’ve got a morning, afternoon or evening in front of you, with no big commitments ahead, so you can relax and take your time. Even alone, you should respect your limits and your comfort levels—if it’s not working, just reach for a vibe and try again later. No shame in the long game.
Experiment with positions.
With bigger dildos, you might find that different positions make it easier or more comfortable for you to take the toy. There is no ‘right way’ to use a dildo, and you should focus on what feels good for you and your body. Lots of dildos have a suction base, so you can use them lying down, or ride them from the wall, floor, or any smooth, flat surface of choice ;-)
Engage in some aftercare.
You might be sore or sensitive after taking a larger toy than you’re used to. A soothing treatment like Momotaro Salve will keep dryness and discomfort at bay.
That's it! Not so scary when broken down into steps, is it? Just relax, take your time and see how it goes—you might be surprised what your body is capable of!