Bondage for Beginners

In our Kink 101 and Kink 2.0 pieces, many of you wanted to know more about bondage and restraints. If you like tying people up (or getting tied up!) today’s your lucky day ;-)

Bondage is a fun and super common form of fantasy play, and whether you’re more dominant or submissive, it’s a good gateway to more advanced kink. The feeling of struggling against restraints can be a pleasure in itself, and both the dominant and submissive partners will happily anticipate that heady moment of escape or release. If you’re just getting started and don’t quite own a pair of leather handcuffs and a collar, we’re here to help!

Communication is the first and most important step in any kinky play. You don’t want to tie someone up as a surprise! Make sure you’ve talked about it beforehand, and agreed on what kind of restraints, how tightly and how long they consent to be restrained, and their safe word. Even if your partner is normally down for whatever, it’s hard to predict how you’ll react once you’re all tied up—some people feel panicky and will ask to stop, so make sure you’re ready and able to help them out.

Rope is cool because you can do whatever you want with it—bind someone at the wrists or ankles, use it as a light whip, hold a vibrator in place, or for advanced practitioners, hang suspended from the ceiling, as in shibari. The complexity and variety of knots that can be used is nothing short of an art! Lots of people like thick cotton or silk rope, because it’s not too slippery and the knots hold nice and tight. It can get pricey, so an amazing alternative that we personally love for beginners is this poly blend Silky Pleasure Rope. Unlike cotton rope, this one has a smoother, sleeker surface, so you can untie your knots even after tugging on them tightly for an hour.

Read on for a few safety tips to follow during bondage play...

Use your words!

Fill out a yes/no/maybe list, talk about your limits with your partner, and agree on a safe word. If your play involves using the words ‘no’ or ‘stop’ as part of the fantasy, make sure you have a clear, non-verbal communication system worked out and practiced beforehand.

Cut and run!

Before engaging in any restraint or bondage play, it's important to make sure you have everything you need to be safe and have fun! Safety scissors are the most important tool to have before trying anything out. Keep the scissors handy so that if you need to release your partner in a hurry, you’re covered. 

Start slow.

You don’t need to be blindfolded, tied up and covered in candle wax on your first try! If rope feels intimidating, or you're looking for something a little lighter, our Silk Restraints are a great place to start. They can be tied up tightly without any chafing or friction, and are easy to untie. 

Go long...or short.

Rope comes in all different lengths and diameters. You don’t need much to get started—our Silky Pleasure Rope is 12 feet, so you can use as little or as much as you like on your first tries. For more complicated rope work, you can use three times that much! ¼”-½” diameter is common and good for a wide variety of knot types.

Take it easy.

If you’re using rope or scarves, don’t tie too tight—make sure it’s loose enough so that you can slip a finger or two between the restraint and the skin. You don’t want to cut off your partner’s circulation or cause nerve damage! If you’re using cotton rope and your play might get wet, leave it a little looser, ‘cause cotton can shrink and wetness/friction can be rough on the skin. 

Remember to breathe.

Check circulation and breathing often to make sure they’re normal and comfortable. If you feel dizzy, tingly or numb, it’s time to stop. Breath play can be fun, but unless you have experience, make sure you’re only using hands, not rope or any other restraint to restrict someone’s airway.

Go ahead and tie one on! Be safe and informed, and don’t forget to have fun!

Header and images by amazing artist Joanne Leah.