How to Hump & Grind a Pillow | Nope, It's Not Weird

Let’s talk about humping and grinding, shall we?! Everyone goes about masturbation differently, but we’re largely presented with images of people lying flat on their back when it comes to movies or pornography. Not only that, but sex toys are often designed with this position in mind. Well, guess what, people masturbate in all kinds of other positions (like these), and if you’re someone who loves to hump a pillow, you’re far from alone. 

Humping a pillow (or a stuffed animal) is an extremely common early sexual awakening experience that tons of people still enjoy as adults. So why don’t we talk about it? One of the reasons may be that we were shamed and told to stop by a parent as a young kid, another may just be that because we don’t see it displayed frequently in sexual imagery and so it feels like we’re doing something ‘weird’ or ‘wrong’. But humping is totally normal and totally awesome, so let’s talk about why and how to make it even more pleasurable.  

Why We Hump

One of the main reasons so many people with vulvas love humping is the broadness of the pleasure. By using your body weight to apply pressure between you and a pillow or vibrator (check out our favorite grinding toys here) you’re getting a similar sensation to being ‘on top’ in a partnered scenario. This means you’re rubbing the clitoris, while simultaneously stimulating the entire vulva. If you’re humping stomach-down, it could also mean that your nipples, stomach, face, and thighs are creating friction with whatever surface your on, which can really heighten enjoyment and potential orgasms. Yes, please! 

Pillows aren’t just for vulvas. People with penises also often discover masturbation at a young age through humping pillows, toys or sofas. Creating a ‘crevice’ between two pillows, or one folded in half, can be a super fun way to mix up masturbation as an adult as well. And all the same benefits of stimulating the rest of your body at the same time, still apply. It’s all about exploration without shame. 

How To Grind

Like any sexual exploration, there’s no ‘right’ way to hump or grind. But here are a few tips if you’re looking to mix it up or try it for the first time. 

  • Try laying face-down on a single flat pillow to start, and grind away.
  • Roll or fold the pillow to create some elevation and make it a little more firm. 
  • Take the pillow to the edge of your bed and hump the corner of your mattress (crouching or standing on the floor) for more direct stimulation. 
  • Try sitting up on your knees with one (or more) pillows tucked under you and grind down. 
  • See if you enjoy it more with your underwear on. Some people love the extra friction. 
  • Face-down, try removing your top and if you have a softer, silkier pillowcase, place it under your chest to rub your nipples on. 

Hump and Vibe 

While a simple pillow may be perfect for some, others may want to amp up this technique. There are more than a few ways toys can be used in this scenario. 


Adding a vibrator to the mix can really take things to the next level. While there are some great ergonomic toys for riding (like the squishy Kushi and Midori or the We-Vibe Touch or the flat, Mimi) it can sometimes be tricky getting them to stay in place when you really start to get into it. We don’t want to toot our own horn (toot! toot!) but we did discover that the We-Vibe Moxie can be hacked to be a pretty incredible humping vibe. The Moxie was created to attach to your underwear with the toy in your undies and a small magnet on the outside. If you take that same little magnet and place it inside your pillowcase, you can snap the Moxie into place on your pillow and rub against it. Genius? We think so! 

Dildos are also a fun way to mix up your pillow game. If humping against a hard penis is something that turns you on, try tucking your favorite dildo flat inside your pillowcase. You’ll be able to see and feel its shape in a totally new way. 

However, whenever, (if ever) you hump and grind, just remember that there’s nothing to be embarrassed about and then ride off happily into the sunset!

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