Is It Appropriate to Give a Spicy Gift?

Buying any gift for someone else can be tricky, but when you’re buying a gift of a more intimate nature, there are some pretty important things to consider. We get asked a lot “What toy should I buy for my partner/friend?” and while that’s typically not a question we can answer without some additional info, hopefully, after reading these tips, you’ll be able to answer it yourself. 

Make sure you have a close relationship

What do we mean by close? We mean they’re either someone you’re currently sleeping with or they’re a friend so close that you both share all your sexcapades with each other freely. Sex toys are not a way to introduce the idea of sex to someone you don’t have that kind of relationship with. 

Talk about it first

You don’t need to spoil the surprise by straight out asking them which toy they’d like to receive but it’s crucial to strike up a conversation first. If it’s for a close friend, try gushing about your favorite toys and get an idea of what (if any) they’re into. If it’s for a sexual partner, work it into your dirty talk. Example, “I’ve always wanted to use a vibrator with you, would you find that hot?” or “I love how much you like when I play with your cute butt, would you ever want to try a plug?”. Maybe they tell you that they’re not really into that idea and you can go get them a lovely scented candle instead. 

Don’t have expectations

Let’s say you had one of the above conversations and it went like this;

You: “I’ve always wanted to use a (insert toy idea here) with you, would you find that hot?” 

Them: “Ooooh that sounds amazing. I’d love to try that someday.”

So you go off and purchase it for them with the expectation of using it exactly as you envisioned. But maybe they don’t actually enjoy it like they thought they would or maybe they like using it a lot, but they like using it alone. You have to be okay with that. Sexual exploration is totally personal and if you’re buying someone a gift it should be because you have their enjoyment in mind. If you’re specifically hoping to start using toys together in your relationship, then that’s a separate conversation (more on that here) and we’d recommend shopping together.  

Don’t embarrass them

If you have a super close group of friends who can talk about absolutely anything, go ahead and let them unwrap it with pals (we guarantee that everyone else will want to check it out), but in most cases, giving a sex toy is a personal moment. Treating sexuality as a joke or gag gift doesn’t do anyone any favors, so take them aside to unwrap their new gift in private. 

When in doubt, gift certificates

A gift certificate says “I prioritize your sexual enjoyment but I don’t want to make assumptions about what you might like.” Maybe there’s a whole other sex toy experience they’ve been thinking of that you hadn’t considered. A gift certificate lets them take their sexual exploration into their own hands (literally). 

Still looking for suggestions?

While you should first consider everything we just talked about, if you’re still at a total loss for which toys to even casually suggest, here are a few favorites;

Gifts for people with vulvas

For someone who loves intense clitoral stimulation: Cutie Heart, Sona or Magic Wand

For someone in a long-distance relationship: Melt or Moxie (both app-controlled) 

For someone curious to try their first toy: The Gaia

For someone who loves g-spot stimulation: The Pure Wand, Icicle 31 or the Pillow Talk Sassy

For someone who loves penetration: The Purple Rain, Summer Fling or Glass Wand 

Gifts for people with penises

For someone playful: The Halo (it glows in the dark!) 

For someone looking to explore their prostate for the first time: Bubbles 

For someone looking to take their prostate play to the next level: Discover or the Pure Wand

For someone looking to up their masturbation game: The Flex 

For someone looking to explore pegging: Pegging Probe and Harness 

Gifts for everyone

For someone looking to get kinky: The Crop or the Silk Restraints + Blindfold 

For someone new to booty play: Candy Rimmer, Bubbles or the 3-Piece Plug Set 

For someone looking for a big insertable toy: Summer Fling