Be Your Own Valentine: A Guide to Dating Yourself

You’ve probably heard the old adage: You have to love yourself before you can love someone else. While this might sound like corny (and kinda bad) advice, we think there's a grain of truth. Self-love is some of the best love!

Our relationships with ourselves are unlike any others, even with our best friends, romantic partners and parents. They’re lifelong and go through many trials and triumphs, and at every step of the way, you have the choice to be your own best friend or worst enemy.

If you struggle with self-love, know that you’re not alone! It’s totally normal to feel self-doubt. We all have bad days, make mistakes and can be more critical of ourselves than others. But the power of self-love is one that can lift you up and make even the crappiest day seem like a valuable one. When you love and care for yourself, you’re able to put things into perspective. 

This Valentine’s Day (or any day, really!), do all the things for yourself that you’d do to impress someone else. Treat yourself with all the consideration you’d treat a friend or romantic partner, and feel those butterflies in a whole new way.


Dates with yourself can be a lot more fun and free than dates with others. Sure, you can take yourself to dinner or the movies, but you aren’t constrained in any way by conventional wisdom. If you’d rather take a bath, take a walk, listen to music, clean your house, go shopping, then damn it, you do you! Care for yourself! Pick a day where you don’t have any chores or responsibilities, set a ‘date’ and go to town.

Some ideas from the Nox community include: Read a trashy novel at a bar, buy yourself a dozen chocolate-covered strawberries, dance alone in your room, watch TV in the nude, have a picnic in the park, smoke weed in the bathtub, try something new, stay under the covers with your vibrator all day.


‘Tis better to give than to receive, and according to our calculations ‘tis EVEN BETTER to give yourself a gift. (That’s like, squared or something.) Whether it’s something small, like a fancy candle, or that new toy you’ve had your eye on, there’s no time like the present to deck yourself out with all the flowers, chocolates and sex toys you can handle.


Tell yourself nice things! While it’s good to make time for yourself (and your toys), self-love is all about having respect, patience, and confidence with yourself. Think of all the things you might say to a friend or loved one to compliment them or cheer them up, and tell ‘em to your own self! Look in the mirror and blow yourself a kiss. Trust us, this makes your day that much brighter. 


Sometimes we take our bodies for granted, so take the time to give it some love and attention. Massage yourself, eat a good meal, do some exercise, drink some water, have an orgasm (or three). These are all small things, but they all make you aware of (and appreciate!) your one and only body. 


There’s no rule that says you can’t have sex with yourself on the first date. (Woohoo!) And let’s face it, you can whip out your biggest, baddest, loudest and most powerful toys with nobody else around to please. Or you can share the wealth with a friend or partner of your choosing. So go on, get off! 

Happy Valentine's Day from Nox! 💋 xo