Getting Started with Praise Kinks + 22 Examples of What to Say

If you’re the type who gets a little thrill from a well-placed compliment, or if telling your partner how amazing they are turns you on, you’re dabbling in the delightful world of praise kink.

So, what exactly is a praise kink? At its core, it’s a form of erotic gratification derived from receiving or giving compliments and affirmations during intimate moments. Think of it as turbo-charged flattery—where words like "good girl," "you’re so hot," or "I love the way you do that" aren't just words, but powerful tools that heighten arousal and deepen the connection between partners. Whether you’re the one giving the praise or receiving it, this kink is all about the power of words and how they can amplify the experience.

You might be wondering, "Is this really a kink?" Absolutely! Just like any other kink, it’s a unique way of experiencing pleasure, one that’s deeply psychological (and that not everyone will enjoy). While some kinks revolve around physical sensations or specific scenarios, a praise kink is all about the emotional and mental response to positive reinforcement. It’s the grown-up version of getting a gold star, except instead of a sticker, you’re rewarded with a surge of arousal.

But why do some people get turned on by praise? It’s all about the brain, baby! Our brains are wired to respond to positive reinforcement. Compliments and affirmations light up the pleasure centres of our brain, releasing dopamine—the feel-good chemical that makes us happy. In the context of a praise kink, this response is supercharged. The praise doesn’t just make you feel good—it makes you feel sexy, desirable, and, in many cases, submissive or dominant, depending on your role.

For those on the receiving end, praise can evoke feelings of validation and worthiness. It’s a powerful reminder that your partner finds you attractive, capable, and skilled. In a world where self-doubt can creep in at any moment, hearing "You’re so good at that" can be a huge confidence boost. And when that validation is tied to your sexuality, it can create a feedback loop of arousal, where the more you’re praised, the more turned on you get.

On the flip side, the one giving the praise can also experience a rush. For some, the act of praising their partner taps into a sense of power or control—knowing that their words have a direct impact on their partner’s arousal. For others, it’s about the joy of making their partner feel good, of being the source of their pleasure and confidence.

Now, how does this all play out in the bedroom? Praise kink can be as simple or as elaborate as you and your partner want it to be. Maybe it’s woven into your dirty talk, with phrases like "You look so good doing that" or "I love the way you feel." Or perhaps it’s more ritualistic, where you set aside time to shower your partner with affirmations before, during, and after sex. Some people even enjoy a more structured dynamic, where the praise is tied to specific actions or behaviors, creating a reward system that adds an extra layer of excitement.

One thing to keep in mind is that, like all kinks, communication is key. It’s important to talk to your partner about what kind of praise you enjoy or what turns them on. Do they like being called "good girl" or "good boy" or does that turn them off? Do they want to be praised for specific skills or just showered with general compliments? The more you communicate, the more tailored—and intense—the experience can be.

And don’t forget, consent is crucial. Just because someone enjoys a bit of praise doesn’t mean they’re okay with all kinds of compliments. What turns one person on might make another person uncomfortable, so it’s essential to discuss boundaries and preferences before diving in.

At the end of the day, a praise kink is all about celebrating each other. It’s about finding joy and arousal in the positive, in the things that make you and your partner feel good about yourselves and each other. So go ahead, sprinkle a little extra praise into your next encounter—you might just find it’s the secret ingredient you’ve been missing.

With all that said, what do you actually say? Here are some great examples to discuss together and try out;

• You’re so beautiful/handsome/hot when you X
• I love the way you look when you’re doing X (ex: on your knees) 
• No one does that like you
• You feel/taste incredible
• I've been waiting all day to watch you X 
• Breathe for me baby
• Yes, just like that, you're so good at that
• Good job, baby
• You're perfect
• Wow, just look at you 
• That's it, don't stop, keep going
• I love watching you X
• You're my good fucking girl/boy/sweet thing/lover etc
• You always know just how I like it 
• No one makes me cum like you do
• Your (body part or skill) makes me so hot/wet/hard 
• Stop for a moment so I can really look at you
• God, how are you so good at that?
• I'll be dreaming about this 
• You’re doing/taking it so good, baby
• I can’t stop thinking about how hard/wet/excited you make me
• You take such good care of me