What do you think of when you hear the term tantric sex? The nineties? Sting?
Tantric sexual practice has gotten a pretty bad rap in the last couple of decades, but it’s worth noting that most Tantric practices have nothing to do with sex. The notion that it’s primarily a ritual sexual practice, and a crazy one at that, is a biased and typically Western one. However, within the tradition, sexual desire is seen as something natural, and a means to achieve spiritual fulfillment. We think there is a powerful lesson to be learned there! Masturbation, sex and a good orgasm have the power to connect you with yourself, others and the world around you, and that's a really beautiful thing.
Start with an open mind.
There’s nothing silly or self-serious about wanting to be one with your mind and body, so try not to feel that way. And in terms of what you can expect, it’s important to open yourself up to all possibilities and let the experience be your guide.
Feather the nest.
Close the curtains, fluff your pillows, and make sure you’ve got a clear calendar. Starting with some incense, or a warm bath, can put you in the right headspace to focus some sexual attention on yourself. Ask yourself what it is you really like, and then surround yourself with scents and objects that make you feel connected.
Using a heavier, natural massager like a Chakrub that delivers firm, smooth stimulation is important when trying a longer, lower-key form of masturbation than the average vibrator can deliver. (And if you're into crystals, bonus!) The Gem also makes an amazing and versatile tool for self-exploration.
Are you feeling tired? Anxious? Embarrassed? Anything bothering you? It’s important to clear your head and be calm, so that you can carry on with your journey to orgasm.
Listen to your body.
Even if you think you know what you like—a particular pressure or stroke that always takes you there—try to listen to your whole body and take the road less traveled to your orgasm. You might find that more time, more attention on your nipples or an erogenous zone, takes you to some new and unexpected places!
A good place to start is steady, meditative breathing. With a partner, it's common to try eye contact, and if you like this idea, you can use a mirror to melt into your own gaze!
Visualize your orgasm.
We normally say it’s best to masturbate without a goal, to reduce the stress and anxiety around forcing an orgasm. However, in this case, your intentions are uniquely powerful.
Here’s a sample scenario: Imagine yourself floating along a calm, peaceful river with a gentle current. As you float, the current gets a little faster, and you encounter swirls and eddies in the water, which is warming around your body. As you move faster and faster, you become aware that you’re moving toward a waterfall—somehow, you know that you’re safe, but your muscles are tensing with pleasure, bracing for the impact. Finally, you lift off the edge and feel yourself floating, enveloped in a soft, warm mist, before plunging into a still pool of water so warm that it borders on a hot bath. (Nice, right?)
Worship your body in all its glory.
You know how after an orgasm, reality tends to settle back in? Try and stay in this calm, relaxed and pleasurably sexual state for as long as you can, post-orgasm. Close your eyes and let your mind wander—continue to visualize the orgasm, or focus on one pleasurable thing, like your own wetness. In Tantric practice, sexual fluids are seen as powerful substances, and whether you’re fully in that mindset or not, there should be no hurry to ‘clean up’, or return to mundane reality.
So, what do you think—is solo Tantric sex something you want to try? Do you think this still sounds silly, or like totally transcendent solo sex you can't wait to experience? Let us know in the comments ✨